On God

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I keep thinking about Boston--my training, the weekend, the race. I'm still amazed that I ran a 3:05:14. I've been going over all the little details, trying to figure out what I did RIGHT this time.

I listen to a solid amount of Christian rock radio. There are some great songs that have helped me start a rough day. Right before Boston, I knew I wanted to listen to a handful of these good songs right before racing. I downloaded about a dozen songs to my iPod and made sure they were in a playlist for my race morning. It definitely helped me calm down and get race ready before leaving the hotel!

I believe God has helped me through some very tough times in the past couple of years, and I think he helped protect me during the Boston Marathon weekend. He didn't want me racing too fast at the beginning, so He put me at the front of wave two. He wanted me to break 3:10--with icing on the cake--and He helped me do that (I start praying in the middle of my runs sometimes). He didn't want me hanging around the finish line for too long, so He made me get a flight at 4PM out of Boston--and He allowed me to make that flight easily. Some people say everything happens for a reason, and I struggle to believe that sometimes, but I think it's true. In my darkest, saddest, toughest of days, He was there, even as I cried out loud and couldn't hear Him, even as I doubted if everything was going the way it "should" be.

Without His guidance, I wouldn't have been able to pull myself out of an eating disorder, out of a suicidal mindset, or been able to get a grip on my bipolar disorder. I wouldn't have the job I have now (even though I wanted the Marine Corps to be His will for me so very much). I wouldn't be dating the most wonderful man I've ever known. I wouldn't have met all these amazing people through running and climbing. I would have run from my failures and my struggles instead of facing everything head-on. He never promises easy lives or direct answers, but He is always there.

This post is for Him, God, because I believe in Him.

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